


2x15 extended confession and flashback scene

by freeleigh47



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Comfort/Angst, M/M, Malec
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-17
Updated: 2017-12-17
Packaged: 2019-02-15 21:29:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13039803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freeleigh47/pseuds/freeleigh47
Summary: This is sort of an extended confession scene from 2x15 with my own spin on it, using more of Magnus' background from the books to lengthen the brief flashback we get to see in the episode. Full of angst with a super fluffy ending :)





	2x15 extended confession and flashback scene

**Author's Note:**

> I would not categorize this as "graphic" but I do add more details about the physical and verbal abuse from Magnus' step-father. Specifically a scene about drowning (mentioned in the books) and also about his mother's suicide, just in case anyone is sensitive to that kind of content.

Alexander is literally on his knees in front of him, begging Magnus to tell him what is wrong. 

“Magnus, please talk to me.” Alec’s pleading voice cracks. 

Magnus is silent for a moment before he answers. “Alexander,” he whispers, avoiding his eyes. “I never wanted you to see…that demonic part of me. That terrifying and deadly part I cannot deny. I never wanted you to witness all the horrors I am capable of.”

“Magnus,” Alec strokes his wet cheek. “You have to know how much I love you. Don’t you know that no matter what you did in the past, nothing will make me love you any less?”

More tears escape from Magnus’ eyes. “I want so desperately, more than anything, to believe that, Alexander. I really do. But I can’t. History has not proven that to be true.” 

“Isn’t this different though? Aren’t WE different? Isn’t that what you told me?” 

“That is precisely why I am more terrified than I have ever been, Alexander! Don’t you get that?! If you rejected me….I don’t think my heart could survive that.” 

Alec shrinks back at his words and drops his hand away from his face. He looks down at the ground, clearly considering something. Finally he takes hold of Magnus’ hands in his lap.   
“Could you show me?” 

 

Alec sits down on the couch, resting his hand on Magnus' knee in calm assurance. Slowly, Magnus takes hold of the back of Alec’s neck with shaking fingers. Alec braces himself as Magnus gives him one last pleading look, silently asking if he wants to back out. Alec takes Magnus’ free hand and squeezes. Then suddenly, he is no longer in Magnus’ loft. 

Alec in inserted into Magnus’ memory as clearly as if he is seeing through his own eyes. He looks down at his child’s body- Magnus’ body- and sees filthy caramel colored limbs in a dirt stained beige night gown. His hands and feet and clothes are also covered in blood. 

A scream erupts from his lips. 

“MAMMA!” he yells. “MAMMA!” 

His head whips around wildly until he sees the still form of a woman on the ground in front of him, a knife protruding from her chest. 

The words that come out of his mouth are not English, but somehow Alec understands. 

“I am not a demon, Mamma! Please come back! Please! I love you! I love you! How can you say I am not your son?! How can you not love me?! Mamma! Mamma! PLEASE!” 

Wracking sobs erupt from his throat and suddenly he doubles over and is sick. He gulps for air. 

“MAMMA!” he screams again, just as a large man towers through the doorway. Alec knows, because Magnus knows, that this is his step- father. His step- father who has done nothing but beaten Magnus and his mother. 

The man’s cruel face turns from horror to murderous rage in an instant. 

“WHAT DID YOU DO?!” he thunders. 

Alec looks up at him through his newly emerged cat eyes. The man jumps back in disgust. 

“You filthy DEMON. YOU KILLED YOUR OWN MOTHER!” 

“NO!” Alec pleads, “She did this to herself, I begged her not to-”

But his words are cut off as the man is suddenly across the room and lifting him off the floor by his neck. The man keeps a painful hold on his arm as he forces him from the cottage and down a small dirt path to a river. Alec tries repeatedly to break free, but the man’s grip is too strong. When they reach the water’s edge, Alec continues to thrash and kick even harder than before. But he is completely at the man’s mercy.

“Filth like you cannot be allowed to LIVE!” He thunders as he forces Alec’s head under water. Alec struggles for breath, gasping under the surface and choking on the dirty river. Alec grapples for the man’s arms that are keeping him submerged. He finally finds them and is about to push against him when something happens; the panic that is surging through his veins is suddenly released through his hands. His hands shoot out flames. 

The man releases him and stumbles back, screaming. 

Alec emerges from the surface of the water, sputtering and choking, and looks down at his hands in astonishment to see the red flames sprouting from his fingertips. Something comes over him in that moment. For the first time in his life, he has the power to fight back. He has never had this feeling before. This overwhelming, all-consuming taste of rage and revenge. 

Alec aims both his hands, palms splayed out at the man, and more fire erupts. He watches with a smile on his face as the man is burned alive, shrieking in agony. 

When the man is a silent smoldering pile of bone and ash, Alec lets out a hysterical laugh through his lips. Tears streak down his face as he collapses in the shallow water, burying his face in his hands. Alec begins to scream. 

 

Suddenly, Alec is back in Magnus’ living room, back in his own skin. He leaps off the couch, coughing and choking on water that is no longer in his throat, checking his hands for flames. When he realizes the memory is over, that he is back in his own body again, he looks over at Magnus’ tear stained face that reveals only absolute terror.

Alec immediately lunges at Magnus and crushes him in a hug.

“I’m so sorry, Magnus, I didn’t know. I didn’t know.” Alec starts sobbing for all the pain that young Magnus had to go through as a child all alone. 

Magnus is stunned. 

Slowly, Magnus reaches his arms up and winds them around Alec, gripping loosely. 

“You mean…you’re not…disgusted with me? With…what I did?” Magnus whispers so softly Alec almost cannot hear him.

“Disgusted?” Alec is shocked. He pulls back slightly to look at his face. “Magnus, you were a child and just saw your mother kill herself. Kill herself because she looked into your eyes…And you just learned you had these powers. You were only trying to defend yourself from your step- father.”

“Yes at first. But…once I was free of him, I intentionally murdered him, Alexander. No matter what he did to me, there is no excuse.” 

“Magnus, you don’t have to explain yourself to me. Ever.” Alec cradles Magnus’ damp cheeks between his palms. “You really thought I would leave you over this?” Alec sounds hurt.

“I didn’t know. But I feared you would.” 

“Oh, Magnus.” Alec’s voice cracks and he crushes the warlock against him again. Magnus feels the shoulder of his shirt becoming damp with Alec’s tears. 

“I’m so sorry if…if I ever gave you the impression that my love for you had a limit. You have to know that it doesn’t.” 

“Forgive me for always being skeptical, for always believing the worst in people. But as you saw, my own mother rejected me for what I am. And I have spent all the centuries of my life trying to move past that rejection. But I never have. And I have been proven correct in my assumptions, in all my past relationships.”

“Is that what the agony rune did to you? It made you relive your greatest fear? Of…being rejected by those you love?” 

Magnus only nods. 

“Look at me, Magnus.” Alec places his fingers under Magnus’ chin and gently tilts it up.

“I love you, Magnus. All of you. I love the powerful and fierce High Warlock of Brooklyn. I love that poor terrified little boy who defended himself with magic he did not yet know how to use. I love Magnus Bane, Warlock representative to the Shadowhunter’s council. I love the Magnus who Portals me all over the world for crazy wonderful dates. I love the Magnus who cooks me pancakes in the morning. I love you, Magnus. With or without all the make-up and the multi colored hair and the fancy clothes. I love your glamoured eyes and your cat eyes. I love all. Of. You.”

Magnus appears speechless for several moments, gaping at Alec’s speech. Until finally a smirk flicks his lips up. 

“You said ‘with or without the fancy clothes.’ Is that you saying you love me naked?” 

Alec lets out a shaky laugh, breaking the tension. “No, that was not what I was saying, but of course I do.” 

Magnus leans forward and sweetly kisses Alec on the lips. 

“Do you know how much I love you?” Magnus asks in awe. 

“How much?” Alec whispers with a smile. 

Magnus says nothing, he only leans forward and kisses Alec again, hoping to convey every ounce of love and gratitude his body contains for this beautiful man in front of him.

**Author's Note:**

> Come talk to me on twitter! (freeleigh47)


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